2. Catastrophic overthinking of what I say.
Whatever I say turns into a game of finding the right move. It is overanalyzed, but in a way that's at best useless, at worse actively detrimental to the bond. What I say and do is flattened onto very restrictive frames, such as that of the transaction, or that of what a friend is "supposed to do" that they got from somewhere else and don't stand up to any scrutiny. Since it won't fit how I function, they're stuck overthinking and reach weird ideas.
wrote:Some of my warning signs for failing friendships—a thread. I happen to care a lot about friendships, so for me when they break it's quite salient. I spent a lot of time thinking about them, read academic articles of sociology and psychology on the topic, etc. What I'm going to talk about is typically reserved for romantic relationships, while friendships are comparatively disinvested and set aside (that's amatonormativity), so if it sounds like I care too much, that's why, don't @ me.