6. No room outside of rigid types.
Between strangers we classify each others using types (the secretary, the non-profit volunteer…), and it's useful. With friends though, we face the singular, and types find their limits. If one insists on using them, one simply prevents the formation of unique bonds, and will systematically misrecognize the other. This can turn genuinely hurtful. It also interacts badly with memory issues, as what doesn't fit one's types will be harder to recall.
wrote:Some of my warning signs for failing friendships—a thread. I happen to care a lot about friendships, so for me when they break it's quite salient. I spent a lot of time thinking about them, read academic articles of sociology and psychology on the topic, etc. What I'm going to talk about is typically reserved for romantic relationships, while friendships are comparatively disinvested and set aside (that's amatonormativity), so if it sounds like I care too much, that's why, don't @ me.