9. Mutual aid moral accounting of absolute effect or effort.
Mutual aid in friendship is great. Accounting very roughly who did what is helpful to avoid exploitation. But how you do the accounting is extremely important. Imo it should be efforts relative to one's resources and opportunities—that is, a ratio, if this could be measured. This implies being aware of each other's lives!
If you combine low effort & high effect mutual aid, you're going somewhere very interesting.
wrote:Some of my warning signs for failing friendships—a thread. I happen to care a lot about friendships, so for me when they break it's quite salient. I spent a lot of time thinking about them, read academic articles of sociology and psychology on the topic, etc. What I'm going to talk about is typically reserved for romantic relationships, while friendships are comparatively disinvested and set aside (that's amatonormativity), so if it sounds like I care too much, that's why, don't @ me.